...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
barbara walters just said penis...
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
