New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
