His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
