Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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