i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
