So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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