awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
