i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I can text with my tongue
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
