But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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