Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
