Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
