Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
false alarm. still invincible.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
