Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
