Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
