You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
