Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
if you like me you must not know who I am
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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