hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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