I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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