all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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