Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
