Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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