Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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