idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
