I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
