You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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