So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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