she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
