i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Randomize
