exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Someone signed my nipple.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
