I feel like I'm in dance class right now
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
