She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
