Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
