Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
