I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
