We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
