The best revenge is premature balding
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I AM VODKA MAN
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
