You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
