just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Holy sore nipples Batman
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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