Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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