Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
