you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
