Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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