Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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