The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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