dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Operation Purity has been aborted
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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