Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
