At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
