So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
