Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
