I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
