Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I fill condoms, not promises.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
