Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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